Sometimes the Best Thing to Do is Nothing at All!

There comes a time in everyone’s life when things start coming at them from all directions. It’s easy to get distracted when you have more than a couple of options from which to choose. The more choices we have, however, the more difficult it is to take the right path. That’s when it is most important to just sit still and take your own sweet time to make a decision. Lots of people say they listen to a still small voice that comes from deep down inside. Some call it intuition. Others merely call it a gut feeling. Many years ago, mythologist and scholar Joseph Campbell put it very succinctly… follow your bliss.

No matter what you call it, everyone will at one time or another reach a point in life when they must do what little children are taught to go through, which is an exercise similar to the steps taught to them when learning to cross the street … stop, think, look, listen, think again and then make your move. Moving too fast or taking a particular action in reaction to a situation or someone else’s opinion of what you should do will almost always lead to disaster.

When faced with lots of choices at one time, the best thing you can do for yourself and the people closest to you – even if they do not agree with your decision – is to step away from the situation. Isolate yourself for a few days if at all possible, and let your conscious be your guide. It may sound trite, but that’s the only way to come to a healthy conclusion.

Listening to your own inner guide is ALWAYS the best way to solve a problem. Allowing your inner guide to take the lead will take you to the place where you are supposed to be in order to be your best and to have the best that life has to offer you. Far too many people are unhappy simply because they are living their lives based upon other people’s needs, wants, desires and beliefs about what they should be doing.

By taking control of your life and following your bliss, we avoid the traps so many people fall into that result in elevated blood pressure, stress related illnesses, depression, substance abuse and an untold number of chronic conditions, all of which could be reduced or eliminated altogether by listening to our guts rather than other people.

When Is It Time to Yield?

Has the strong opinion of another persuaded you to change your point of view? The tactics of others can at times alter our position. Yet, when is it appropriate to yield and when do we hold on to what is true for us? This is not an easy question to answer and frankly I'm challenged to do it in just a few short bullets. But here I go. Hold on to your point of view when...

•You have fully listened and remained open to the ideas of others, and your point of view still makes the most sense 
•The persuaded point of view goes against your core values, ethics or morals 
•The losses in the persuaded point of view are far greater than the benefits 

Holding on to our own opinion is important to foster the right moves for ourselves and our companies.  We need to hear everybody's voice and be appropriate and conscious when choosing a direction.

What Do You Really Want?

How often do you ask yourself this question? What do you really want?

It’s important to think about it and get clarity. If you don’t think about your purpose, someone else will decide for you. If you don’t remember it, life has a way of drifting off the path you intended to travel. If you don’t know what you really want, you’re likely to end up with a bunch of stuff and experiences that don’t feed or excite your true self.

So what do you really want?

I’m not asking what should you want. This isn’t about what you have been told everyone wants. This is not about what they wanted to sell you. What you want may have absolutely nothing to do with what they want for themselves or for you. This is not about what they asked for or told you that you deserve. Step away from the external influences and messages about what “they” said and focus on what you want.

What do you really want?

Just a Little Self-Promotion...

Self-promotion is not a 4-letter word. In fact, a little self-promotion is often necessary to be seen by upper management, to gain influence, and to build our reputations as results-oriented people.
Help raise your profile and consider the following tactful ways to show others what you have accomplished:

•In the appropriate meetings, mention the positive results f...rom something you or your team accomplished.
•Make sure to send your boss a regular written update on goals completed and the status of current projects.
•Take on a challenging project and share your enthusiasm with others - especially your boss.

In our fast-paced world, people don't tend to know what we have done for them lately unless we tell them. Take a few key opportunities each month to mention what you have accomplished.

After all, hard work and good results deserve to be recognized.

Confidence

A true sense of confidence not only helps us forward our careers, but it also has a positive effect on others.  But confidence doesn't come by chance, it comes by being aware of who we are and what we do best. Consider the following to strengthen your self-perception and the impact you have on the co-workers around you:

•At the end of each day, review what you have accomplished.  Write down at least 3 things to help you recognize your efforts.
•Keep a journal of all the things you do that help others.  You will be amazed how much this little tip can build your sense of self-worth.
•Align your actions to your values.  One of the biggest confidence-stealers is when we do things that go against our truths.

The most confident people are those who look inward for recognition, not outward.  So do a little self-reflecting this week and enjoy the boost it will bring to your energy.

Challenging Our Core Beliefs

1. Remember that our beliefs are not the same as reality, yet most people act as if they were. We see our beliefs as the way things are rather than as our perceptions or judgments about the way they are.
2. Our beliefs are powerful and often unconscious drivers of our behavior. There is a good body of research that indicates the power of our beliefs. What matters most is not what is happening, but what the person believes is happening.
3. The mind is "right" about whatever it happens to believe. We perceive selectively what confirms our point of view, and we even go so far as to set up situations to prove our point of view. If we believe we are deserving of success, we find evidence to prove it. If we believe that most people care only about themselves, we will prove that too. If we believe that life is beautiful, then that is what will come back in the form of our experience.

Active Listening...

Did you know that an average person only listens at an effective rate of less than 25%. Yet listening is rated as the most important factor in work, family, and social success. This week make a commitment to stay in the present and actively listen to the person speaking. Here are a few helpful hints to further develop this vital skill.

• Maintain good body posture and eye contact. Don't try to mutli-task while listening

• Focus on the speaker's feelings, needs, and perceptions.

• Silence your inner dialogue and stay open to receive what is being said.

Keep in mind that what you are hearing is not always exactly what the speaker is trying to say. Stay engaged, ask questions, and actively listen until the speaker confirms that you have indeed understood their message.