Gratitude

You are focused on what you don’t have and what is going wrong. I know there is a difference between where you are and where you think you need to be. The difference may seem insurmountable. The consequences may be terrible. The whole situation may be overwhelming. You feel like you are losing the fight. Let’s not think about that right now. No, I’m not asking you to wish away the reality of your situation. I’m not asking you to launch into denial about how serious your problem really is. Even right where you are, here are 4 ways to solve that problem like you are your own personal gladiator.

1. Stop Your Overwhelm - Even in the middle of your circumstances, there is a reason to be thankful. Before you make a decision, count your blessings. While you are in overwhelm, remind yourself of the things that bring you joy. Don’t worry about being in overwhelm, just focus on the reasons you have for thankfulness. I’m not being theoretical. What are they? Think about them. Speak them. List them. Spend some time and energy remembering the things that we all naturally forget. What is going right? What is one great thing that has happened even while these terrible problems were brewing? Name another great thing. And another. And another. Oooh, you just thought of another one before I could ask. Keep going. Thankfulness interrupts overwhelm.

If you don’t see anything great at first, that’s okay. It’s okay as long as you don’t give up. Sit with it until you think of something. It might be small. It might seem inconsequential. It might be unrelated. It might be shallow or vein or silly. It still matters. Count it. Make your list.

2. Your Problems into Perspective - Training yourself to see the good helps to put your problems into perspective. You have seen this happen when a reporter interviews someone immediately after a tragedy, a natural disaster, some unexpected devastation. As they stand with the ruins of this person’s life framed in the background, the reporter asks something like “how do you feel”, or “what are you thinking right now?”

Tell me that it doesn’t move you to hear the person share the reasons they have to be thankful even as the ashes smoke around their feet. They say, we escaped with our lives; or this was something we should not have survived and we are blessed. Even though we’ve lost everything we have, I have my life and I’m thankful for that. Sometimes you hear wonderful stories of thanks for heroism or assistance from a total stranger that came to their aid. Often you hear, we don’t know what comes next but we are faithfully taking one day at a time. Even thought your issue may feel like the end of the world, put your problems back into perspective.

3. Invite Your Most Powerful Purposeful Self to Show Up - Don’t you want your best Self doing the heavy lifting for you in this moment? That Self is your own personal “gladiator in a suit” on speed dial. The fastest way to call up your inner gladiator is with gratitude. Gratitude is one of the fastest ways to shift you into who you are when you are at your best. Gratitude invites that most powerful purposeful Self to show up and make decisions on your behalf.

Why is gratitude such an incredibly powerful feeling? Gratitude puts you in the right frame of mind to see the next step to take. If you can come from a place of gratitude, you are not coming from a space of fear and anger. Gratitude changes the type of options you see and the options you think about. Your gratitude summons your courage and strength to stick with it another day. Gratitude generates the clarity you needed to step away from something or someone that is no longer serving you. Gratitude gives you peace to feel calm and certain of your next move even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.

4. Ask yourself, “What Do I Have?” - Now that you have stopped your overwhelm; shifted your perspective; and invited your most powerful purposeful self to show up, let’s talk about that issue again. No. No, we are not going back to that hyperventilation and panic. We are problem solving. I didn’t ask you what you don’t have. Focus on what you have.

Choose to feel grateful even as you acknowledge that you may not have what you want. See where you do have enough. Choose to appreciate the many ways that you have enough. Focus on the abundance and the goodness that exists even in this situation. Appreciate what you already have and all you are learning. Appreciate your determination to handle this the right way. Recognize where things are being taken care of. Appreciate they way you are solving your problems and see how your gratitude gives you the energy to walk away from that battle with a big win.

One Step At A Time....

Does it feel as if you are well into 2013 already (instead of just a month), trying to keep up with ...everything?! The challenges we face offer a wide range of solutions, some that energize us and others that drain us. Serious situations may cause us to agonize over the resolutions - especially if we dwell on the "what ifs" too long.

But once that tough decision is made, don't you find that your focus is better, your energy renewed and the path towards moving ahead towards your goals much clearer? If you are in the middle of this kind of challenge, just let me offer this: keep on putting one foot in front of the other-even if those steps are small, they are still moving forward and you can give yourself some valuable energy-rebuilding time.

Celebrate Your Accomplishments!!

Before we all go off to celebrate another ending and new beginning, may I encourage you to remember why you are right where you are, and celebrate all those things you did accomplish in 2012.

Now I know the overachiever in you is merely focused on all the things on your list that didn’t get done and that’s okay. Just for a moment, take a look back through that calendar of yours and remember all the moments you totally rocked. Remember those moments in your life when you totally knocked it out of the park? I bet you have forgotten many of them already. I’m talking about the things you did for yourself as well as others. The things aside from your job that you did just because they needed doing. The effort you put into something that no one else knows was needed. Seriously, scroll backwards thorough the 52 weeks and 12 months from 2012.

So, I’m curious, why don’t you celebrate yourself more often? Not the lame moments that others think you should but just truly and sincerely acknowledge the hard work and wonderful things you do. Some people think you are pretty amazing. You always shy away from that praise because you are looking at what you are not.

Today. Just for this moment. Go on and celebrate the difference between where you were, what you were and who you are now. You may not feel like you deserve it but I bet your calendar says otherwise. There were some things you did last year that you have every reason to be proud of. Everyone thrives off of encouragement. It’s like fuel to a car. You are no different. Indulge yourself. Your ego won’t get any bigger than it already is. I’m so sure your "self-depreciation" is already on the case. Shut that negative talk down for just a moment and allow yourself to embrace your own fantastic magnificence!

Go on. Give yourself a well-deserved round of applause. And schedule some more frequent moments in 2013 to do the same.

Negativity

Every now and again you run into someone that does not have anything positive to say. That Negative Nancy or Nicholas insists on sharing horrible tales of injustice and songs of woe. Hearing them whine and complain about the sunrise or the effervescent giggles of a small child, you begin to wonder when they swore an oath to be a contradictory wet blanket. Then, every now and again you look in the mirror and see that Negative Nancy or Nicholas starting right back at you. How many times have you heard yourself complaining and wished you knew how to back away from that place of doom and gloom? You hear yourself revving up into a full on rant and you wished you knew how to interrupt the slide down that slippery slope.

What you need is a Negative Nancy/Nicholas Emergency Preparedness Plan. This is a scramble code to activate during your Negative Nancy/Nicholas tendencies and quickly get back to feeling more peace, love, joy, and hope. Like any good emergency plan, taking a few precautionary steps can help you be ready to quickly respond when these emergencies arise.

Have a Negative Nancy/Nicholas Awareness Check List - we all know certain things work on certain days. When you are in a negative space, it can be difficult to come up with positive actions to take. Not every strategy works for you all the time so having a check list to fall back on will help you remember creative ways to get back into a positive place.

So what is on your Negative Nancy/Nicholas list?

Start Your List Within - look for strategies that you can do for yourself and by yourself. You are more powerful than you think. Besides, if your go-to strategy involves someone else, how will you cope when that person is not around to kick start your joy? No one is responsible for your moods but you. You have everything you need within you to handle what’s going in with you. Start looking for the powerful solutions to your fussiness within.

Prepare a List of Positive Actions - what can you do in the moment to address what’s making you so fussy? Nothing is off the table but I find the most simplistic things normally work better and faster than a more complicated solution. Sing, dance, walk, meditate, make a list, speak positively, listen or watch omething positive, help someone else, drink some water, take a nap.

What other positive actions can you think of that would bring you more peace, love, joy, and hope?

Now when your inner Negative Nancy/Nicholas shows up, you’ll have all the tools you need to kick back into a space of unspeakable joy!

Gratitude

It’s hard to believe that the holiday season is once again upon us. The holidays can be the most stressful time of year – not because of what actually is, but what we have been conditioned to expect. Precious few of us have the kind of situations depicted in those Norman Rockwell pictures… and the Huxtable’s exist only on television.

The truth is far too many people have accepted fantasy as the standard. Real people have drama, trauma and uncomfortable stuff to deal with. It’s a part of life. So, with Thanksgiving just around the corner, what is there to be thankful for? Just look around.

Regardless of our circumstances, there is something to be grateful for. It is our responsibility to see the glass not half empty – not even half full. We must always see the glass running over. The way we feel about any situation is directly linked to our attitudes.

When starting your day, don’t pull out that mental list of things to do. Before you even get out of bed, take a few moments to think about things that make you feel good, those things that bring a smile to your face. Then give thanks for all of the good things you have in your life… even if on the surface it doesn’t seem like much.

Before you know it, that gratitude list will get longer and longer and you’ll notice that your day will go a whole lot smoother.

Weather Conditions....

So how’s the weather in your neck of the woods today? No, I’m not asking about tropical storms or sunny skies. I’m asking about how you are feeling on the inside. What’s your mood like right now?

Check your internal weather conditions frequently. Live today like the Weather Channel. What do you notice when you check in? What name would you give to how you are feeling right now?

Why do I ask? Well, because what you are experiencing in this moment is attracting more of the same in the next moment. Like attracts like. Negativity breeds more negativity. Doubt breeds worry and fears. Anger generates rage. Powerlessness facilitates despair. Panic makes bad decisions.

When you mix enough of the wrong stuff together, you get a perfect storm. Your thoughts emotions and speech influence what comes next in your life and how you perceive it. Just like a weather forecast, you can check your internal Doppler radar conditions and predict with a high measure of accuracy what’s coming next.

So if what you are experiencing in this moment is attracting more of the same in the next moment, do you like what you are experiencing? If so, keep doing what you’re doing.

If not, here are some quick tips to get out of that storm path and move into sunnier place.

• Be Thankful - Nothing clears stormy skies faster than gratitude and joy. Identify things in your life that you can be grateful for.
• Listen to How You Speak. - You can move yourself into higher ground just by being powerful in your language. Select words that describe a positive powerful ideal state instead of words that call to mind where you don’t want to be.
• Pay Attention to the Thoughts Running Through Your Mind. - Are you thinking more about what you want or what you don’t want? Just be aware of your thoughts and challenge the ones that come from fear uncertainty and doubts.
• Look at what you are doing - If you were taking action as your most powerful purposeful self, would you be engaging the way you are right now?

Regardless of what the weather conditions look like outside, if you check your weather conditions within, you can enjoy variations of your favorite seasons 365 days a year! Wouldn’t that make you want to go singing in the rain?!

Effective Delegation

Delegation helps develop employees, build team capacity, and free managers to work on key corporate initiatives. Yet many of us still choose to hold on to work that others can do. Take a look at your calendar, to-do list, and project plans. See if there are items you can delegate to others with:

1. A clear objective
2. A deadline for the delegation to be complete
3. Training to do the task or project (if necessary)

As you review your list for work you can delegate, keep this in mind: If you are doing something somebody else can do, it's keeping you from doing only the things you can do.