November 30, 2014

The Difference Between Smart and Wise

Did you know that being the smartest person in the room usually means you can process data faster than the group? Yet wisdom embraces not just intelligence but the virtue of reflection. Wisdom is the ability to make sound judgments based on knowledge and experience. And, it can be cultivated at any age by practicing the following steps:

1. Reflect before you react. Let the information sink beyond your defenses.
2. Suspend judgment and ask questions until you have enough information to make a sound decision.
3. See the world in shades of gray. Stay open to not knowing until the real issue or solution emerges.

Wisdom, like most good virtues, takes practice and patience. Yet the net result will distinguish you in the group. After all, I'd rather be the wisest kid in the room instead of the smartest. Too much competition in that group.

November 22, 2014

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

We would like to wish you and your family a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.
 
This Thanksgiving, holiday season, and every day of the year, set aside some time to share with family, friends, and loved ones. With a grateful heart, give thanks for all the blessings in your life. It is a time for kindness.
 
Look for something - no matter how large or small - to be thankful for.... In giving thanks, you will lighten your load, if only for a short while, and carry the spirit of the season in your heart.
 
As you count your many blessings, take a few minutes to jot them down so that you can refer to them daily in the year to come.

Enjoy the holiday season. Thank you for your loyalty.

Best Wishes,
LaVonne Dorsey and the Welcome to Living Team

November 16, 2014

Conflict Management: Unfair Fighting Styles

Bad Timing - One person forces his or her agenda on the other, often insisting on discussing something at an inappropriate time.

Blaming - You blame the other person for the problem when you start with the dangerous assumption that “I’m right and you’re wrong.”

Too many issues - When you’re angry and use any ammunition you can think of – dragging up issue after issue to support how good you are and how bad the other person is.

Covering other feelings with anger - In unfair fights, anger is usually the only emotion expressed. It drowns out any underlying fear, sadness, guilt, envy, disappointment, and so on.

Impossible demands - Unfair fights often include vague, abstract demands like “be more considerate” or “stop being so picky.”  People just don’t change their personalities or emotions quickly or easily.

 Threats and ultimatums
- “I’ll move out.”
- "I’ll quit.”
- "I’ll tell your supervisor.”
- “I’ll take the kids.”
- “I’ll tell on you.”
- “I’ll destroy something.”
- “I won’t love you anymore.”
-  Escalation

Unhappy endings  - Unfair fights have unhappy endings. Unfair fights end in violence, withdrawal, or tears and apologies. They don’t end in mutually satisfactory solutions. In fact, unfair fights don’t really end at all – there’s just a temporary cease fire until the next round.

What is unfair at heart about most of these negative styles is that they assert that the person you are arguing with is somehow inferior.  You don’t engage the person about his or her ideas; you simply attack the person. To create an environment where conflict about ideas is possible and encouraged, individuals must be assured that they will be engaging in a fair fight – one that will not turn into a personal attack.

3 Questions to Ask About Career Development

Did you know that career development is the single most powerful tool managers have for driving retention, engagement, and results? Yet, it is frequently avoided because managers say they don't have the time. Making the time is easy when you understand how important it is, and it's as simple as asking a few good questions:

1. What are your career goals?
2. In what ways would you like to be trained or developed?
3. What would you like to gain from me as your manager?

Remember that career development is always the responsibility of the employee, but good managers take the time and show the interest to help mentor their employees along the way.

November 9, 2014

Conflict Managment

We can’t alter the fact that there will be conflict. We can only learn to manage it when it occurs.

We are each trapped inside our own way of seeing the world, and our differences create conflict in those world-views. We want others to see the world as we do, because we know similarities will bring us closer to each other. On the other hand, we tend to protect our way of seeing the world with great energy and enthusiasm.

People who successfully handle difficult interactions are aware of how their feelings and attitudes affect their nonverbal messages. They know their listeners will “hear” their tone of voice, vocal volume, rate of speech, and body language over and above their words.

November 2, 2014

60 Days and Counting...

There are only 60 days left until 2015! With that in mind, this would be a good time to revisit your 2014 goals. So take a few minutes to consider the following this week:

1. What goals have been accomplished this year?
2. What still needs to be accomplished?
3. What actions can you take in the next 60 days to complete or wrap up any loose ends?

Enjoy your week!!